For over 3 weeks now I've lived my life with a rash. What kind of rash is exactly the question. It's a mystery rash, even to the now 5 doctors who've examined it. Most of them have agreed to one thing, Penicillin isn't my friend. You see I had strep throat with a high fever and it wasn't treated with a penicillin type drug, but then I developed a rash with it and voila the experts decided Amoxicillin would be the answer.
I tried to warn them. I'm allergic to Augmentin I said (a kind of penicillin type drug). They questioned me further and I admitted I was only a little kid the last time I'd had it. Maybe I could have antibiotics in the penicillin family after all (smh even now). I knew better, but I took the medicine believing all would be well.
So here I am 3 weeks later and in a world of hurt and itchiness, because I took the medicine knowing it probably wasn't a good idea. It was recommended by a doctor though so what could it really hurt right?!
It turns out, a lot. What you don't know when developing a rash is what an impact it will have on every aspect of life from putting on your clothes, to shaving your legs, and even to your romantic life, and ability to go out in public.
I went from not wanting to wear short sleeves because I wanted to hide my fat arms, to not wanting to go out in public with exposed skin because it's covered in sores. I'm too embarrassed now that I'm going to be judged. What will people think of me I wonder, will they think I'm on some chemically induced drug like Meth or Crack. I work too hard to be a good citizen for that kind of criticism.
I also feel scared, because no-one knows what the heck is wrong with me. I don't know when if ever this rash will heal because I don't know what really caused it, why it is so bad, and why it is refusing to heal. If something else underlying is causing it what is it and will it go away on its own? I just have so many questions.
I'm honestly so worried something really bad is doing this to me and that I might not survive long enough to find out what it is. I just want to be well again. I pray more than I take meds that God will see fit to make me well again. Selfishly I really love my life and want to hang onto it as long as possible. It does definitely help me put my life into perspective though. If I had to leave for good I know I've loved with all my heart and that is enough for a fulfilled life. I just want to keep on loving for awhile longer. I do love all of my friends and family fiercely and would do anything for them.
