IRS Woes Coming to a Close (finally, hopefully)

I spoke to an actual IRS agent today. It was scary and the hour long wait listening to the old elevator music made my stomach turn but it was worth it. After 4 years of attorney fees that got me nowhere and many sleepless nights I felt like I actually made progress today. I think deep down I really thought IRS agents were evil carnivorous reptiles from another planet but it turns out that the person on the other end of the phone receiver was actually that a "person". She was kind and listened. She gave actual real and helpful advice and when I told her my dreams were dead she encouraged that they not be. When I told her I might actually jump off a bridge and end it she told me my family needed me. She walked through options with me and helped me to feel like it would be okay. Needless to say this is not what I expected. It was a pleasant surprise and a relief. I know that my financial situation is hard right now, but I have hope. So I guess I'm writing this to just encourage others who are struggling with the IRS. They are real people and not evil aliens trying to suck the life out of you. They don't want you dead and they don't want to put you in a life threatening situation but they do want your money. As a final message of hope I leave you with this message from the Bible. Jesus loves us all. He loves the broken (me) and he loves the tax collector. It won't be long before me and the tax collector are both dining together before God and will be judged the same. "While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” — Matthew 9:10-13

My Autoimmune Illness controlled by Skyrizi

 Update: see my blog on Adapting Life to the Rash https://notwhatyouwanttohear.blogspot.com/2022/01/adapting-life-to-rash.html for how this all got started but let me tell you where I am at today living with Psoriasis

2023...It's been a little over a year since I was diagnosed with Psoriasis. I had never even heard of this illness until I was diagnosed by a dermatologist. So much has occurred since diagnosis resulting in additional testing, blood work, TB test, etc. To trying different medications to get the dreaded rash under control. Living with psoriasis is so much more than a rash or a medication. It is an auto immune illness. Somehow my immune system got broken. Maybe it's genetic, maybe it was triggered by some external factor and there all along. I don't really know enough to give you the science behind it but what I do know is it makes you feel awful. 

When on medication I'm sick, when off medication I'm sick. I just have to choose the lesser of two evils in this case and it will be a lifelong battle. Currently I am taking Skyrizi. Skyrizi is a biologic injection taken every 3 months. It is painless, quick and easy to take. Side effects for me have included nausea, stomache pain and headache. I have had some respiratory issues but very minor and I haven't noticed any real difference from before when dealing with respiratory allergens from living here in Tennessee. It is better than hurting everyday and feeling like I'm wearing my skin inside out. 

I'm almost positive my hurting is from psoriatic arthritis that came with the psoriasis. It is undiagnosed because I would have to also see a rheumatologist which I haven't seen, but luckily Skyrizi has also helped with the arthritic pain. 

One of the recurring issues I am still having is hair loss. I shed worse than my dogs. I'm not sure if this is from the Skyrizi or from the psoriasis itself. All still worth it though so that I don't have the pain and all over rash.

My advice if experiencing a new skin issue you have never had before is to just not give up. After following the psoriasis and chronic hives groups on Facebook I consistently hear people say they just want to give up and that they don't feel like they can go on living like this anymore. I can 100 % agree with this. I have been there. I felt the same way. I just kept going to doctors until someone figured it out and then I tried all the meds until something worked for me. I'm not going to lie and say the process is easy or that you will even find relief forever. Things change over time. I'm scared to death of a relapse that causes me to have to go back to trial and error of meds. I'm scared to death of any future hospital surgeries that require me to go off my suppressant and inviting the dreaded rash back into my life.

But I know that right now I am 100% clear and for a brief while I have my life back. It isn't always easy and sometimes I have weird symptoms like headache or itchiness. Some foods and drinks don't settle right with me anymore. But it is worth it. Life is worth fighting for and my daily routine is finally something I can live with again. No more lotions every hour. No more steroids. No more what ifs.